Motherhood: The End of Dignity

It starts with the multiple doctors appointments that are BEYOND invasive. This culminates in childbirth which, as you may recall from high school biology's "Miracle of Life" video, is about as undignified as one can get. Then you think, finally, I can rejoin the human race as a person with a bit of privacy and decency.

WRONG!

You kind of expect that you will no longer do any of the following without tiny eyes following your every move:

1. Change your clothes.

2. Bathe.

3. Use the bathroom.

As a mother you also spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with poop. As in cleaning it off of another human being who seemingly produces more than his body weight in it twice a day. Dignity? Not really.

But that is really not even the worst of it!

No. What really comes as a shock is the way you allow yourself to be photographed. I am about to publish some photos of myself looking pretty much as bad as it gets. Why you may ask? Because my son looks cute/is doing something cute/is doing something milestoneish. That's right, a mother has no dignity because her child is darling.

Here we have Wyatt brushing his own teeth.

The first to comment on my Medusa hair/Rabies mouth/General disgustingness will be immediately stoned and subsequently unfriended on Facebook. And we all know FB is the true test of friendship.


Wyatt holding his own bottle.

My pajamas need no comment from you dear reader. That is what I have a husband for.